Tag Archives: manners

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I Bet You Think This Weekends About You

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Hosting out-of-town guests can be exciting, but sometimes equally as anxiety inducing. So, it’s no surprise to me that this past weekend while hosting my dad and aunt, there was a bit of a mix of both emotions as I worked through what types of activities would ensue.

Both my aunt and my dad have visited me in the past, so it wasn’t a complete guessing game about what types of things they wanted to do, but yet, I still should have asked.

When people are way from home, it is my belief that making them feel as comfortable as possible will result in everyone’s experience being enjoyable, relaxing and filled with positive memories.So, I did just that. I also took the liberty of scheduling some things that I knew they would enjoy, including a game night, a few jazz related activities, plenty of food outings and even a surprise drop in visit from other family visiting the area over the weekend.

Now, for me, this amount of weekend activities seemed pretty appropriate. But, I quickly learned that for my dad and aunt, it was a bit too much. I am very much used to a weekend filled with hustle, bustle and more hustle. It’s common for me to fit in 100 million things into a weekend trip somewhere, but that’s just me. My aunt and dad were more than happy with one day time outing and a delicious meal of some sort every day. So, during one of the completely overfilled days, one of them said, “maybe we can just go back home after this”.

And then it clicked…

Scarlet Says… Just like the evolution, growth and change of almost everything else in our lives, even the Golden Rule itself has advanced. Let’s make it a point to embrace not doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, but instead, treating others how they want to be treated. The next time you host someone at your home or are entertaining out-of-town guests, just ask them, “what would you like to do with your time here”, then take it from there!

Until Next Time,



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ETIQUETTE ALERT: When Your 5-Year Old Is Invoiced, Scarlet Says…

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2015-01-21 12.54.46

Photo Credit: ABC News

So, how would you handle a situation where your 5-year old was sent an invoice for skipping their classmate’s birthday party? Well, this really happened in the UK recently. Scarlet has been asked how to best handle this a number of times over the past few days, so, we’ll chime in!

The reality of life is that things happen and if you haven’t already, you (and your child) will likely miss an event or two that you already RSVP’d for. If you’re RSVP’ing, showing up on time and bringing a gift to birthday parties the majority of the time, missing the mark every now and then shouldn’t ruin your relationships. Now, if you’re a habitual late comer, no-shower and non gift-bringer almost every single time, it’ll all catch up to you.

Was the parent who essentially invoiced the child over the top? Perhaps a tad. I mean, if you chose to invoice, handing it off to a 5-year old who wasn’t going to pay it, certainly wasn’t the best move. Some people are even saying, “well, it was just £15.95 ($24.13)”. This is true, but who are we to count what’s too much wasted money to complain about. The reality, is money was wasted on an accounted for child that was RSVP’d for. While the ability to communicate directly seemed to be impossible in this situation, that in fact would be the best possible course of action.

Scarlet Says…if you can’t make it to an event, (especially one where there is money on the line) reach out to the host as soon as possible, offer your apologies for your inability to attend and consider offering to contribute your personal portion of the event expenses. While this process will work the majority of the time, sometimes it won’t, and that’s where you can rely on your relationship account. If you are constantly putting deposits into your relationships (listening, being a good friend/family member, returning favors, being a person of your word, etc.), then when you mess up and have to take a withdrawal or two, you haven’t stooped into the negative. Party On!



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Gracias! National Etiquette Week

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National Etiquette Week

Courtesy of Appalachian Area News

Today kicks off the first of 5 days solely dedicated to etiquette. Scarlet believes that good etiquette should be practiced daily, but this week, we’ll pay specific attention to raising awareness of all people to act with courtesy, civility, kindness, respect and manners as well as rally people to act with good manners in their everyday lives.

This past weekend, I had an experience with a woman named Maria while attending a conference in Massachusetts. This woman was with the catering staff and was setting up the delicious cookies and break related snacks. As I always, do, I smiled, spoke to her and thanked her for her service. Her eyes absolutely lit up in awe and surprise that someone had acknowledged her and thanked her for her work.  She replied “my, you are so nice to speak to me and to simply say thank you”.

Her reaction both made me happy and sad. Happy that I had made her day, and sad that her work and appreciation for it , was rarely acknowledged.  If something as simple as a thank you, a smile and a small token of gratitude makes someone’s day, will it really hurt us to do it?

As you go about your days moving forward, and especially this week, consider how a small token of gratitude to the people we encounter and rely on, could make a significant difference in their lives.

Until next time….

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ASK SCARLET will be live on our Facebook page tomorrow morning answering all of your etiquette questions about handling situations regarding other people’s children!  Join us at 10:00 am tomorrow!

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Don’t Let Your Commute Get You Down!

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To get from point A to point B, there is usually some form of transportation involved. Since time machines haven’t been invented, your transportation will likely involve encountering other people. So, how are we conducting ourselves to ensure that we can all be comfortable, safe and appropriate? Let’s explore some things to keep in mind when traveling on different public transportation sources:


  • Have your fare ready.
  • Is someone else in need of my seat?
  • Hold on! Buses makes frequent stops. Don’t get caught picking yourself up off of the floor, because you failed to hold on.
  • Am I listening to music without headphones plugged in?
  • Am I displaying common courtesy by saying, “please, thank you and I’m sorry”, when necessary?


  • Have your fare/ticket ready.
  • Is someone else in need of my seat who is pregnant, elderly or handicapped?
  • Are my bags taking up space in a seat, preventing other humans from sitting?
  • Am I walking on the right down the escalator and stairs, leaving a path for those who need to get down faster on the left?
  • Am I displaying common courtesy by saying, “please, thank you and I’m sorry”, when necessary?


  • This is not your personal vehicle. Are you treating this vehicle like its your own?
  • Did you tip appropriately?
  • Are you really loud or on your cell phone for the entire ride?


  • Are you boarding with your zone?
  • Are you trying to sneak on a “non carry-on” item?
  • Did you bring something smelly on the plane to eat while in route?
  • Are you talking for the entire plane ride when your neighbor might want to sleep or be alone?
  • Am I displaying common courtesy by saying, “please, thank you and I’m sorry, when necessary?

Public transportation can be an easy and convenient way to travel, but only if we all do our part by subscribing to common courtesies, and by considering the thoughts of other people during our commute.

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ASK SCARLET is now live on the Scarlet Says Blog. 

Ready? Set! ASK SCARLET!

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Your Name Is Your Name

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noun ˈskär-lət

1: scarlet cloth or clothes
2: any of various bright reds
3: etiquette and employee engagement

Is your name difficult to pronounce or is it assumed that your name is pronounced one way when in fact it is pronounced another way? Do you feel guilty about correcting people on the pronunciation of your name? DON’T!

Your name is your name and you have the right to request for it to be spelled and said correctly. This also applies to name abbreviations or shortenings. If your name is Robert and you don’t prefer Bob, Scarlet Says, it is perfectly fine to say, “I know that most people don’t mind Robert being shortened to Bob, but I really do think Robert sounds better and I prefer it.”

Remember, your name is the gateway to your identification and if that is said and spelled wrong, imagine what else will be allowed…

Until Next Time…


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