Doesn’t it seem like time just comes and goes so quickly? I mean – we all just welcomed the new year of 2016 and we’ve also welcomed and will soon say good bye to the month of January. With all of life’s commitments, it may leave you wondering, where does all of your time go and when will you really be able to find the time to complete all of the goals that you’ve set for yourself this year? (READ MORE)…
One of the many conversations was around the subject of my mother, Scarlet, or as the world remembers her, Bette. My mother passed away about 3 years ago suddenly and unexpected and consequently, Mother’s Day and birthdays have a bit of a somber undertone. My grandmother (my aunts mother) passed away about 6 years ago after a long battle with a number of illnesses. Although they both left the earth in a very different way, the fact remains that in both instances, someone lost a mother.
So, immediately following my aunt asking about my best girlfriend who had recently lost her mother, she asks me in a concerned tone “so how are you doing”? Considering the situation regarding my moms death, my aunt (and others) tend to periodically check in to see how I’m doing. I responded as I usually always do – “I’m fine”.
But something quite awful happened next. That something was that my aunt said (without being asked a question) “Well, I’m dealing pretty well. I’m not as sad as I initially was.” At that moment, I realize that I had done something pretty selfish.
I failed to ask her how she had been dealing with the passing of her mother. Granted, both of our losses had different circumstances – mine was sudden and hers was over time, but that doesn’t necessarily make the after math any less painful. Also, my mother was substantially younger than her mother (my grandmother), but that factor, while for me was painful, doesn’t negate the fact that at the end of the day we both loss someone.
This same situation happens all the time, especially if the person is older than us. We forget that other people have similar or equally as painful situations as us and that they too are going through something – we all are.
Scarlet Says… in our haste of just living or dealing with our own day-to-day challenges, remember that the world and the people around you aren’t that much different from you. They’re going through similar situations, experiences, challenges, hurdles and pain. Be aware and passionate enough to stop and say, “ok, enough about me, how are YOU doing?”
Until Next Time,
So, how would you handle a situation where your 5-year old was sent an invoice for skipping their classmate’s birthday party? Well, this really happened in the UK recently. Scarlet has been asked how to best handle this a number of times over the past few days, so, we’ll chime in!
The reality of life is that things happen and if you haven’t already, you (and your child) will likely miss an event or two that you already RSVP’d for. If you’re RSVP’ing, showing up on time and bringing a gift to birthday parties the majority of the time, missing the mark every now and then shouldn’t ruin your relationships. Now, if you’re a habitual late comer, no-shower and non gift-bringer almost every single time, it’ll all catch up to you.
Was the parent who essentially invoiced the child over the top? Perhaps a tad. I mean, if you chose to invoice, handing it off to a 5-year old who wasn’t going to pay it, certainly wasn’t the best move. Some people are even saying, “well, it was just £15.95 ($24.13)”. This is true, but who are we to count what’s too much wasted money to complain about. The reality, is money was wasted on an accounted for child that was RSVP’d for. While the ability to communicate directly seemed to be impossible in this situation, that in fact would be the best possible course of action.
Scarlet Says…if you can’t make it to an event, (especially one where there is money on the line) reach out to the host as soon as possible, offer your apologies for your inability to attend and consider offering to contribute your personal portion of the event expenses. While this process will work the majority of the time, sometimes it won’t, and that’s where you can rely on your relationship account. If you are constantly putting deposits into your relationships (listening, being a good friend/family member, returning favors, being a person of your word, etc.), then when you mess up and have to take a withdrawal or two, you haven’t stooped into the negative. Party On!
Thank you for stopping by to see us. What other kinds of etiquette do you think we should teach?