Tag Archives: Children

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HAVING A GOAL OVERLOAD?

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JMB LAUNCH

Doesn’t it seem like time just comes and goes so quickly? I mean – we all just welcomed the new year of 2016 and we’ve also welcomed and will soon say good bye to the month of January. With all of life’s commitments, it may leave you wondering, where does all of your time go and when will you really be able to find the time to complete all of the goals that you’ve set for yourself this year? (READ MORE)…


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My Kids & Family Are Great, But What About Me?

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Aggravated ParentThink about your friends who have children. How do your conversations typically go?

This weekend while visiting home (Detroit), I was so elated to catch up with quite a few of my friends, many of whom have or are expecting children. The conversations with my friends with children or a spouse always started out with the normal pleasantries, including the “how are you’s” and “how’s the job”, etc. In almost every case, the next few questions (for those that have kids) b-lined right for their family. Because I genuinely wanted to know how their children and partners were doing, I innocently asked, “so, how are the little ones” or “how is your other half”. In almost every case, they said “fine, they’re all doing fine” and were ready to move on to another subject. Now, I’ve encountered some unfortunate responses in the past when I’ve asked about the family, so I tread lightly when asking these days. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than learning about a recent divorce or a child who is terminally ill, while innocently asking, so “how’s your family”, but it happens and when it does you sympathetically deal with it.

The one thing that I picked up on this past weekend is a simple concept that most parents will likely appreciate and it is this…while people might have children or a spouse, they are more than just a parent or a spouse. So, let’s just be honest here. You do sometimes run across that (maybe new) parent that ONLY talks about their children and acts as if they did not exist before their children or spouse came along, and for those people carry on. But while my friends who are parents and have partners are great in both of those roles, the reality is that most of them want to be and are more than that. Being a parent or a spouse/partner is fine and awesome, but there are so many other roles that a person is, will be or wants to be and that too should be considered and respected.

Scarlet Says…It is perfectly fine and courteous to ask about your friends’ family when you see them. But, it’s OK as well to continue the conversation and ask about them. How are they doing? What’s new with them? What goals do they have? Allow your friends to be more than just one thing, if they want to be. Life can be much too short to do, experience, be or strive for just one or two things and while having a family and a spouse can be magical, so can all the other things that are possible as well.

Until next time,

Scarlet

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Selfish In Death

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imageI had a phenomenal weekend. My Aunt visited and we decided to take the laid back, not so planned out weekend approach and it was fantastic.

One of the many conversations was around the subject of my mother, Scarlet, or as the world remembers her, Bette. My mother passed away about 3 years ago suddenly and unexpected and consequently, Mother’s Day and birthdays have a bit of a somber undertone. My grandmother (my aunts mother) passed away about 6 years ago after a long battle with a number of illnesses. Although they both left the earth in a very different way, the fact remains that in both instances, someone lost a mother.

So, immediately following my aunt asking about my best girlfriend who had recently lost her mother, she asks me in a concerned tone “so how are you doing”? Considering the situation regarding my moms death, my aunt (and others) tend to periodically check in to see how I’m doing. I responded as I usually always do – “I’m fine”.

But something quite awful happened next. That something was that my aunt said (without being asked a question) “Well, I’m dealing pretty well. I’m not as sad as I initially was.” At that moment, I realize that I had done something pretty selfish.

I failed to ask her how she had been dealing with the passing of her mother. Granted, both of our losses had different circumstances – mine was sudden and hers was over time, but that doesn’t necessarily make the after math any less painful. Also, my mother was substantially younger than her mother (my grandmother), but that factor, while for me was painful, doesn’t negate the fact that at the end of the day we both loss someone.

This same situation happens all the time, especially if the person is older than us. We forget that other people have similar or equally as painful situations as us and that they too are going through something – we all are.

Scarlet Says… in our haste of just living or dealing with our own day-to-day challenges, remember that the world and the people around you aren’t that much different from you. They’re going through similar situations, experiences, challenges, hurdles and pain. Be aware and passionate enough to stop and say, “ok, enough about me, how are YOU doing?”

Until Next Time,

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Scarlet


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ETIQUETTE ALERT: When Your 5-Year Old Is Invoiced, Scarlet Says…

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Photo Credit: ABC News

So, how would you handle a situation where your 5-year old was sent an invoice for skipping their classmate’s birthday party? Well, this really happened in the UK recently. Scarlet has been asked how to best handle this a number of times over the past few days, so, we’ll chime in!

The reality of life is that things happen and if you haven’t already, you (and your child) will likely miss an event or two that you already RSVP’d for. If you’re RSVP’ing, showing up on time and bringing a gift to birthday parties the majority of the time, missing the mark every now and then shouldn’t ruin your relationships. Now, if you’re a habitual late comer, no-shower and non gift-bringer almost every single time, it’ll all catch up to you.

Was the parent who essentially invoiced the child over the top? Perhaps a tad. I mean, if you chose to invoice, handing it off to a 5-year old who wasn’t going to pay it, certainly wasn’t the best move. Some people are even saying, “well, it was just £15.95 ($24.13)”. This is true, but who are we to count what’s too much wasted money to complain about. The reality, is money was wasted on an accounted for child that was RSVP’d for. While the ability to communicate directly seemed to be impossible in this situation, that in fact would be the best possible course of action.

Scarlet Says…if you can’t make it to an event, (especially one where there is money on the line) reach out to the host as soon as possible, offer your apologies for your inability to attend and consider offering to contribute your personal portion of the event expenses. While this process will work the majority of the time, sometimes it won’t, and that’s where you can rely on your relationship account. If you are constantly putting deposits into your relationships (listening, being a good friend/family member, returning favors, being a person of your word, etc.), then when you mess up and have to take a withdrawal or two, you haven’t stooped into the negative. Party On!

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-Scarlet


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LIVE!!!! ASK SCARLET – CHILDREN & ETIQUETTE

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NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE A SITUATION REGARDING SOMEONE ELSE’S CHILDREN?

ASK SCARLET will be live on our Facebook page tomorrow morning answering all of your etiquette questions about handling situations regarding other people’s children!  Join us at 10:00 am tomorrow!


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Thank you for stopping by to see us. What other kinds of etiquette do you think we should teach?