Tag Archives: ADVICE

  • 0

My Kids & Family Are Great, But What About Me?

Tags : 

Aggravated ParentThink about your friends who have children. How do your conversations typically go?

This weekend while visiting home (Detroit), I was so elated to catch up with quite a few of my friends, many of whom have or are expecting children. The conversations with my friends with children or a spouse always started out with the normal pleasantries, including the “how are you’s” and “how’s the job”, etc. In almost every case, the next few questions (for those that have kids) b-lined right for their family. Because I genuinely wanted to know how their children and partners were doing, I innocently asked, “so, how are the little ones” or “how is your other half”. In almost every case, they said “fine, they’re all doing fine” and were ready to move on to another subject. Now, I’ve encountered some unfortunate responses in the past when I’ve asked about the family, so I tread lightly when asking these days. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than learning about a recent divorce or a child who is terminally ill, while innocently asking, so “how’s your family”, but it happens and when it does you sympathetically deal with it.

The one thing that I picked up on this past weekend is a simple concept that most parents will likely appreciate and it is this…while people might have children or a spouse, they are more than just a parent or a spouse. So, let’s just be honest here. You do sometimes run across that (maybe new) parent that ONLY talks about their children and acts as if they did not exist before their children or spouse came along, and for those people carry on. But while my friends who are parents and have partners are great in both of those roles, the reality is that most of them want to be and are more than that. Being a parent or a spouse/partner is fine and awesome, but there are so many other roles that a person is, will be or wants to be and that too should be considered and respected.

Scarlet Says…It is perfectly fine and courteous to ask about your friends’ family when you see them. But, it’s OK as well to continue the conversation and ask about them. How are they doing? What’s new with them? What goals do they have? Allow your friends to be more than just one thing, if they want to be. Life can be much too short to do, experience, be or strive for just one or two things and while having a family and a spouse can be magical, so can all the other things that are possible as well.

Until next time,



  • 0

Use What You Got To Get What You Need!

Tags : 

Personal-Development-mag-glass.1What is it that you need? Chances are, you’re in need of something. Some of us are in hot pursuit of a career boost, a mate, or maybe even more time to do the things that we love. In an effort to get those things, you might seek out some help, which often comes in the form of getting others and other resources involved.

But, WAIT!

Before you seek the consult and advice of others, use what you already have to get what you need. Think about it. When is the last time that you glanced over at the mountain of books that you’ve collected and considered revisiting some of that information to advance your career or relationships? When is the last time that you accessed those e-books and pod casts that you reserved to listen to later and never got around to? When is the last time that you looked back through all of those articles that you bookmarked while browsing the internet thinking, how great they would be to read once you made the time to do so?

Well, now is the time! Take out those collections of self-help, career and dating resources and get to working!

Now, you might be thinking, Scarlet, what in the world does this have to do with etiquette? Well, think about some of the top things that you do when you need something. You generally:

  • Ask for advice (get other people involved)
  • Start searching online (spending more time and maybe additional money)
  • Do nothing and complain (which is ultimately never productive)

All three of those things can be huge bad etiquette traps, that can be easily avoided. Recently, we released a video on How to ask for advice, and while there is certainly protocol on how to best ask for advice, wouldn’t it be more reasonable if you could answer your own questions with the information that you already own and avoid getting others involved unnecessarily? Just a few weeks ago, we shared a post on How much time we waste online daily. I’m sure that we could all use a little more time in our lives to do the things that we really want to do and we might be able to do so if we occasionally revisited our collection of personal resources. Lastly, think about someone in your life who never seeks to identify solutions and opts for complaining instead.  Sure things go bad and unexpected in our lives, but our individual abilities to seek out solutions and consider the brighter side of things is what positively enhances our lives and the lives of those around us.

In pursuit of our goals, dreams and aspirations, we’ll surely need help in order to succeed. But, if you’ve taken the time to amass a collection of books, videos, articles, quotes and magazines, be sure to use those things to your advantage, and then when necessary, seek the appropriate consult of others and other resources.


  • 1

  • 0


Tags : 


ASK SCARLET is now live on the Scarlet Says Blog. 

Ready? Set! ASK SCARLET!

Thank you for stopping by to see us! Be sure to sign up to say connected with us!