Tag Archives: 2014

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How “Doing You” Can Do You In

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Do YouThe holidays have surely been a fantastic time to get in touch and reconnect with friends.

This past weekend, I had a fantastic time catching up with girlfriends in my home town of Detroit. During our girls time catch up, we always engage in a series of serious questions surrounding annual reflection and our outlook and plans for the year ahead.

One of the resounding messages that I heard within our group was that people were going to focus on doing what makes them happy and not focusing too much on conforming to what people think they should be doing, how they should be looking or spending their time.

These types of messages and plans make me elated, because it’s important for you to be happy with yourself and to be the master of your own journey.

But, I started thinking about how this “do me” mentality can be self imploding if it’s not managed well. The reality of this “do me” mentality is that if you take it too far, you will quickly alienate the same people who you need in order to do whatever it is that you want to do.

Doing you shouldn’t mean forgetting about everybody else and their feelings, desires and wants.  We don’t occupy earth alone, so at least being aware of and understanding that you, and you alone are not the only person to be concerned with is essential to personal growth and progress.

Imagine that your “do you” is starting a business, networking more, being more health conscious, obtaining a raise, traveling, starting a family or even spending time alone. Either directly or indirectly, these things require other people. Consider how much easier accomplishing your tasks would be if you had people to back you up and help you, simply because you considered them, their feelings and their goals.

Scarlet Says…whatever it is that you’re in pursuit of in the days, weeks, months and years to come, by all means do it! You deserve to be happy, accomplished and successful, but so does everyone else!

Dedicated to the F.I.E.S.T.A.S.

Until next time,


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Have you been faking it? Well, Scarlet has too…

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Photo Credit: Dari Design Studio: http://daridesignstudio.com/

93 is the exact amount of days that we have left until 2015. That beginning number of 365 sure did fly by fast, didn’t it?

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Out of time? Rushed? Unorganized? Anxious?

If you do, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. For Scarlet, 2014 has been an absolute flash. Things have went great and other things have absolutely went left.

If you’re with the majority of us, feeling like you just need a bit more time to get it all in, I have some bad news…you won’t get it. You are really stuck with only 93 days left this year to conquer your 2014 to-do’s.

Now following that bad news, let me enlighten you with some good news. Instead of ho-humming your way through the next 93 days, how about maximizing what you have to get what you need accomplished?

And as an added bonus, I’ll even tell you how to do it. As you prepare to wrap up the year, utilizing these simple “Scarlet etiquette hacks”, will help you maximize your time, positively invest in your relationships and end the year feeling like you started – hopeful, driven and focused!

1. Start Your Holiday Card Process Now: It seems to never fail. Every year right around December you start getting that horrible feeling in your gut that reminds you that you haven’t even started writing out your season’s greetings or holiday cards for the year. This time, just start now. Why not at least start putting the list together of the people and organizations that you intend to send out cards to? Believe me. Starting now will save you a lot of headaches later.

2. Make Small Daily to do Lists: Do you make lengthy to-do lists knowing that there’s no way that you can tackle 25 tasks in one day? Well, let’s turn a new leaf today! Instead of making unrealistic task lists, try limiting your daily list to five items or less. I’ve found that it is much easier to do 5 tasks impeccably versus trying to do 25 tasks at your less than best capacity and then feeling bad about not completing the list. Give yourself some slack. Put together a reasonable list that you can accomplish and feel good about.

3. Get Off The Holiday Party Merry Go Round: Very soon, the end of year holiday party invites are going to start rolling in. While everybody wants to be invited to fantastic end of year parties, be honest with which ones you should and should not attend. If you know you’re going to find yourself only being able to spend 20 minutes at each party, consider reconsidering. Just face the facts that you are only one person and that it’s best to prioritize which parties you actually should attend and more importantly which ones are value-add to you personally?

4. Revisit Your Goals For 2014: You actually may have accomplished a lot more than you think you have. When is the last time you visited your goals for 2014? While you may be sulking your days away, being hard on yourself and thinking that you’ve accomplished nothing, perhaps you are much further along than you really thought.

5. Take a Social Media Sabbatical: Have you ever found yourself scrolling through your various social networking pages and beginning to feel guilty about yourself, your accomplishments and what you think you should have accomplished by now? This feeling of void and skepticism about your accomplishments happens all the time. It is a direct result of subconsciously or even consciously comparing yourself to people and individuals who are posting on their own social networking pages. Let’s face it, who can really validate if what others post is true? And, think about how much time you actually waste scrolling and running across the same information that you saw the last time you scrolled? Make an honest effort to take breaks from social media and even take a small sabbatical for a little while if you find yourself on there much too much.

Scarlet Says: For the next 93 days, let’s commit to using what we actually have to get what it is that we need. 93 days really is a lot of time to get a lot of stuff done. Even if you have fallen down, fallen off track or life has thrown you some curve balls this year, you can still recoup. You are still here and you still have a seat at the table. So, let’s make the best of what we have left and rock out for the rest of the year. After all, faking it til’ you make it is just a temporary fix and not a long term solution…

Until Next Time,

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Is Your Circle Toxic? – Is it Time For A New Beginning?

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Back Talking FriendsThe other day, I had the unique and interesting pleasure of hanging out with a new group of women.  Since all I usually need  to have a good time is some good music, I was having a fantastic time and most other people were too.  But, I couldn’t help but notice that there was a great deal of good ole-fashioned gossip going on.

Now, this wasn’t the regular casual gossip that you’re likely used to. This was the mean, just-because gossip directed at some women sitting next to us. After a while, one of the ladies in our group started complaining to me that this always happened when they went out. Instead of enjoying each other and the moment, the night always turned into a bash fest towards the other women or men sitting around, and she was incredibly tired of it.

So, I started thinking (to myself), if this is so annoying to you, why do you keep hanging out with them?

The night continued, the gossip continued and eventually, we all parted ways. This conversation stuck with me though. I started thinking how simple it can be for us to make changes in our lives, yet we refuse to and continue to miss out or fall short of what it is that we really want to be, do or experience.

Now, I certainly don’t think you should go around and start instantly ditching all of your friends (unless you really need to), but what I am saying is that perhaps it’s time to evaluate your circle, your habits, your practices, your weaknesses and ask yourself , Is it time for a new beginning for me? Sometimes we make a few bad decisions or a few innocent mistakes and forget that we can exercise our human rights to just simply make another one; perhaps the one that we wanted to make in the first place.

Scarlet Says… if you’ve found yourself caught in an unwanted situation, doing things you hadn’t really set out to do, or perhaps you’re just totally off the path that you had set for yourself as you started 2014, you have the right to make a new decision and get back on track.

Until next time,

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