Category Archives: Wedding Etiquette

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LOVE… is in the air

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b22e34ea-2d85-4c80-b248-f3a817217203What is it that you definitively LOVE? Is it traveling, shopping, cooking, your mate, FOOTBALL? If it’s football, today is definitely your day, since the NFL Draft kicks off this evening.
Speaking of football…while I was quickly shuffling from one plane to the next over the weekend, I saw a gentleman with this shirt on. Now, while I have my fair share of football knowledge and for the 5th straight year, Scarlet will be providing the Detroit Lions Rookies multi day etiquette training, I do not attest to being a football fanatic. So my first reaction to this shirt was an eye roll (in my mind).
Of course, I was walking alongside my husband who thought that the shirt was the absolutely best thing he had seen this year.
We are a household who listens to sports talk radio pretty much every day, even when the sport of choice (football) isn’t in season. So as you can imagine, we’re almost always on sports overload during every season of the year.
Now, let’s be clear. I knew EXACTLY what I was signing up for when marrying a sports aficionado a few years ago, so I keep most of my griping to myself. More importantly, when an eye roll starts to try to make an appearance, I remind myself that my husband isn’t the only one who has some borderline obsessive behavior, as it relates to thing things he enjoys doing. My love for cheese, deep house music and all things etiquette can sometimes border on obsessive as well. Despite this, I can say that there is a continual purposeful attempt to not over expose (or annoy) each other with our own individual likes, loves and obsessions. (READ MORE)...

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Are You Done Dating Your Mate?

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You’ve found the one – the one person who does it for you. They’re pretty much everything that you wanted to have in a mate and things have gone just magically.

So, your relationship progresses, then you decide, let’s expand our relationship a bit. Perhaps you’ve thought, “well, we’re pretty good people, so let’s populate the world with more little people like us”. You agree to procreate and commence to going half on a baby.

Congratulations, the baby arrives and then something less magical appears to begin happening. You and your mate no longer have time for each other anymore. The baby has completely taken over any of the free time and money that you once had.

This is a recent scenario that has been shared with us numerous times and couples are frustrated because they really want that old thing back-the romance, the desire to feel special or just an acknowledgment of the sacrifices they are making to make the relationship work.

So, what do you do if you’re in this situation? What do you do if you feel like your relationship as you once knew it is being hijacked by your children, your career, your parents or your business?

You’re pretty much going to have to revisit the basics. The same things things that you diligently engaged in to initially secure your mate will have to be dusted off and revisited.

  • Did you once take your mate out on spontaneous dates?
  • Did you used to send flowers or lunch to them without warning?
  • Did you used to make their favorite meal or snack and surprise them with it?

Well, guess what? It’s still OK to do these things.

Regardless of which role you play in the relationship, you have an opportunity to make your mate feel special in spite of timing challenges by just revising the simple, little things.

Your career, your children, your entrepreneurial endeavors. All of those things will always require your attention and there will always be items competing for your time. Your mate – the one that once made you feel giddy, special and admired enough to win your heart is still in there.

Scarlet Says…Take the time to tend to what’s important and special to you. You deserve it, your mate deserves it and your healthy, thriving relationship will thank you later.


Until next time,







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National Etiquette Week – #scarletetiquetteweek2015

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Guess what week it is! It’s National Etiquette Week and Scarlet will not miss this opportunity to get in on the action! You can look out for fun opportunities to engage with Scarlet all week long.

Monday: Kick off your week with positivity and thanks! Write 3 people a hand written thank you note thanking them for something that they’ve done for you. Believe me – they’ll remember and it’ll get you some major relationship building points. We stopped by Michael’s and they have a fantastic sale on thank you cards!

Tuesday: Share your etiquette pet peeves! The only way we can really live, work and play together is if we’re aware of how to best engage with each other. Share these pet peeves on our Facebook wall, by tagging us on Twitter or even tagging us in a photo on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

Wednesday: What’s one etiquette rule that you think should totally go out the door? We embrace modern, real-world etiquette so we’re dying to know your thoughts! Share your items on our Facebook wall, by tagging us on Twitter or even tagging us in a photo on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

Thursday: If there were a Scarlet Award – an award for someone who exemplifies what it means to be considerate of others, embrace perspectives and has a great sense of style, let us know. This doesn’t need to be the quintessential standard of what “style” normally is. This could be someone who just has their own flare, style or look. Who do you know? Let us know! Post about them on our Facebook wall, by tagging us and them on Twitter or even uploading a photo of them and tagging us on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

Friday: If you could change your workplace by enforcing this one office etiquette practice. What would it be? Share your item on our Facebook wall, by tagging us on Twitter or even tagging us in a photo on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

We are super siked about all your upcoming posts this week! If you don’t want to engage online, but you still want to share, simply email us at

We look forward to seeing you again soon!

Until Next Time,



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ASK SCARLET is now live on the Scarlet Says Blog.

Ready? Set! ASK SCARLET!

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ASK SCARLET: “I want a friend of mine to stand in my wedding, but I don’t think she can afford it…”

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ASK SCARLET:  I was recently engaged and I have already decided who I want to stand in my wedding as my maids and matrons of honor. Although I want one of my closest friends to stand with me, I am concerned that due to recent circumstances, she can’t afford it. I’m not really sure how to handle this. Should I ask her knowing that she may not be able to participate?

SCARLET SAYS: Congratulations on your engagement! As you know, weddings are expensive; not just planning one, but also participating in one as a bridesmaid, groomsmen or usher. If you want her to stand in the wedding, you should absolutely ask her.  Avoid assuming that she can’t participate. Perhaps when you ask her, you should show sensitivity to the subject by acknowledging that this may be a difficult time for her, but letting her know how honored you would be if she stood in your wedding. When we want to do something, we somehow find a way to make it work and maybe your wedding will be important enough for her to find a way to make it work. If she just can’t make it work, she won’t feel so bad about it, because you would have already expressed your understand, and perhaps she can participate in the wedding in another way.  Happy Wedding Planning!


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I Respectfully Decline…

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InvitationMany of us have recently made or had an ongoing goal to manage our time more wisely and to be more selective of the things that we sign up for. Well, hopefully you’ve made progress with that goal. One of the biggest places that we fall off of the wagon at is in the area of events. I mean, who doesn’t like to get an invitation to an event? The problem happens when we begin to accept all events without considering the 5 W’s. Why am I going? Where is it at? Who will likely be there? What will I get out of it? Will there be any value in attending?

Now truly, sometimes, you just want to go out, be social and not think too much about it. but embracing that thought process each and every time can surely be consequential to your time management improvement plan.  The question that might be plaguing you is, how do I go about respectfully declining an invitation to an event?

Of course, the type of event that you might be declining needs to be considered. There is certainly a different way to respectfully decline a wedding invitation versus a regularly scheduled networking event. Here are a few tips to follow when considering your attendance at an event:

  1. Plan – Living on the edge each and every time and waiting until the last minute to decide your status at an event is overrated and unnecessary. Make a conscious decision to decide in advance if your schedule, mental capacity and outside obligations will allow you to attend this event.
  2. Prepare –  “I don’t have anything to wear”, “I got lost because I didn’t look up directions” and “I forgot to read the specifics of the invitation” are pretty common excuses for missing or being late for an event. Just take a moment, in advance, to properly prepare for this event that you’ve decided is more important to partake in than all of the other things on your to-do list.
  3. Engage – You’re busy, right? So is everyone else. The power of a face to face interaction is sometimes so easily underestimated. A quick glace around a restaurant, library, coffee shop, networking event, wedding or park in pretty much most major cities across the United States will reveal a large cluster of people engaged in the same type of communication that they wake up with and go to sleep with – online communication. When we get together face to face, we eliminate those awkward cold unemotional texts and miscommunication because of a misplaced comma or period and we get the opportunity to do something that our electronics can’t do — embrace human emotion.  So, if you’re at event, take advantage of your opportunity to engage with other real-life humans.

So, you’ve read about the three tips, Plan, Prepare and Engage and you’ve decided, you just can’t do them. Perhaps now, it’s time to respectfully decline. So, how do you do it?

  • RSVP – French (répondez s’il vous plaît) – If the event requires that you need to RSVP, do so. RSVP’ing does not mean that by default you are saying that you will attend the event and not responding does not necessarily mean that you are not attending, unless that is the course of action that the invitation stated. To RSVP simply means: to respond, please. Also, RSVP in the manner that is requested. If by mail was requested, send it by mail. If by email was requested, send it by email, etc.
  • Sensitive Situations: There are some instances where just responding and not formally having a conversation with someone is not necessarily the best course of action. For example, you get an invitation from your close friend for her wedding and due to some other pre-planned obligations, you cannot attend. Sure, you should send your RSVP card back (in the manner by which it was requested), but a phone call might also be in order. This might be a friendship that means quite a bit to you and you’d like to keep it that way. By simply making a phone call, letting your friend know that you can’t attend and even perhaps s still sending a gift, you’ve covered your bases and shown that if the situation were different, you perhaps would have attended. This particular protocol could also be followed in situations where there is a business outing, a professional networking event or maybe a family gathering.
  • Emergency – At some point, an emergency will arise and it will prevent you from attending something, perhaps even after you’ve already stated that you’ll be attending. If there is enough time to alert the host ( a safe time is typically before the event has started, but as quickly as possible) then do so. Express your inability to attend and be sure to include an apology. We all have our obligations, but many events require some kind of financial investment and some planning to ensure that RSVP’d guests are properly accommodated. Guests who do not attend events with no forewarning cost the organization or individual money and perhaps prevented other people from not attending.

Scarlet Says...There will come a time where respectfully declining an event invitation will be necessary. You cannot and probably should not even attempt to attend every event that you are invited to. Managing your time wisely and deciding, in advance, what you have the capacity and genuine general interest in attending will keep you focused and available to attend the truly important stuff and most important, present to respectfully engage with other people.

Until Next Time,

– Scarlet

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Calling All Wedding Crashers!

Wedding Crashers 1The time of year has come! It’s wedding season time! With all of this love, joy and wedding bliss in the air, I want to take the time to remind you of important wedding etiquette that will keep you and the happy couple, happy.

So, as you make plans about who your date will be, what you’ll wear and what you plan to fill up on at the open bar, take a moment and take the wedding oath.

  1. I will not ask for an invitation to a wedding, no matter how badly I want to attend.
  2. I will not show up to a wedding with an extra guest, child or super important friend that I didn not RSVP for, no matter how important I think this person is.
  3. I will RSVP on time for the wedding and in the manner that was identified. (not by text just because I know the couple so well.)
  4. I will not show up late for the ceremony just because I think that all weddings start late.
  5. I will not wear an excessively flashy or revealing outfit in an effort to make this day about me and not the couple.
  6. I will not spend the entire ceremony with my phone high in the air recording footage and taking pictures that I will probably not look at again.
  7. I will not spend the entire reception clinking the side of my glass in an attempt to get the couple to kiss all night long.
  8. I will not ask the DJ to play hustle and line dance music all night long.
  9. I will not abuse the open bar by drinking much more than I can handle and embarrassing myself (and my date).
  10. I will not (under any circumstances) grab the microphone and give a toast that I was not asked to give.

YES! Wedding season is upon us and we want you to enjoy, but Scarlet Says, enjoy weddings responsibly by taking the oath.

Until next time,


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#5: “Does This Outfit Make Me Look _____?”: Top 10 Etiquette Tips for 2012

We all have our favorite outfits; some we have outgrown in age or in size and deep down inside, we are all aware of this. But sometimes, something within us still silently tells us that we can wear whatever we want, whenever we want, but that voice must be silenced at times.

There is an appropriate type of clothing for every occasion, whether it be business or social. If your dress or shirt is see-through at home, it will be see-through when you go out. So, if you aren’t going to a place where a sheer shirt is acceptable, change in advance instead of pretending you didn’t know or making excuses about why you thought it would be ok to wear it. Nothing will make you more uncomfortable and self-conscious about yourself if you are dressed inappropriately at a public outing.

Scarlet Says…consider these things when deciding how to dress at your next outing in 2012:

  • Was there a dress code identified on the invitation or by the host? If so, follow it. Creative dress is certainly encouraged when appropriate, but stick to the dress code and avoid sticking out like a sore thumb.
  • What time of year is this event? Dress appropriately for comfort, warmth or coolness depending on the time of year.
  • What time of day is the event? An afternoon event usually means that it is acceptable to wear  an afternoon dress or dress suit. Men can wear a coat and tie, such as a sport jacket with a tie or a dark or light business suit.  An evening event usually means  women may wear a very dressy afternoon dress or a short or long cocktail dress or dress suit. Men wear a dark business suit, a dress shirt (typically white), and evening tie. If the event is identified as formal, the attire changes to more of a black tie (men) or formal attire (women).
  • Are you taking a date to the event? Dress to compliment your mate with colors and attire choice.

Until next time…


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The Lost Art : RSVP

As we all know the holidays are fastly approaching, which means entertaining tons of family and friends for many of us and attending events for others. With this being so, it is pertinent that we are not only aware of proper etiquette rules but that we follow them when we are invited or attend others’ events.  One of the most common issues that party hosts and planners face is guest rsvp’s or lack thereof. Although guests may not realize it until they are hosting their own event, it is very important to rsvp to an event when you receive an invite that says to do so. Hosts need to know who is coming so they can plan the food and drink, invite replacements if necessary, or even reschedule the event.

Not to mention, it is just plain rude to show up to an event after failing to respond to rsvp request. This in short shows the host that you did not take into consideration all of the hard work and effort that goes into planning an event. There are so many rsvp options nowadays, please make sure to use the specified method before showing up to events this holiday season!

…until next time…

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