Category Archives: Communication Etiquette

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Being Focused Can Save Your Life!

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CelebrationWhat is it that you really want to do? Where do you want to really spend your time?
Although most of us spend a substantial amount of time working hard – really hard, it’s not where we want to spend all of our time.
Most of us want to spend the majority of our time enjoying friends and family, relaxing, taking vacations or participating in our favorite hobbies, activities and celebrations. Most of us do not want to spend every waking hour working our lives away. But, unfortunately, many of us do. We spend more time in our offices or with our co-workers and colleagues than we do on the things that we value the most.
So, how does this happen? It happens because we often lack focus.
Think about what you’ve done just today. READ MORE…

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Are You Done Dating Your Mate?

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Photo Courtesy of: ashleyyoung8.blogspot.com 

You’ve found the one – the one person who does it for you. They’re pretty much everything that you wanted to have in a mate and things have gone just magically.

So, your relationship progresses, then you decide, let’s expand our relationship a bit. Perhaps you’ve thought, “well, we’re pretty good people, so let’s populate the world with more little people like us”. You agree to procreate and commence to going half on a baby.

Congratulations, the baby arrives and then something less magical appears to begin happening. You and your mate no longer have time for each other anymore. The baby has completely taken over any of the free time and money that you once had.

This is a recent scenario that has been shared with us numerous times and couples are frustrated because they really want that old thing back-the romance, the desire to feel special or just an acknowledgment of the sacrifices they are making to make the relationship work.

So, what do you do if you’re in this situation? What do you do if you feel like your relationship as you once knew it is being hijacked by your children, your career, your parents or your business?

You’re pretty much going to have to revisit the basics. The same things things that you diligently engaged in to initially secure your mate will have to be dusted off and revisited.

  • Did you once take your mate out on spontaneous dates?
  • Did you used to send flowers or lunch to them without warning?
  • Did you used to make their favorite meal or snack and surprise them with it?

Well, guess what? It’s still OK to do these things.

Regardless of which role you play in the relationship, you have an opportunity to make your mate feel special in spite of timing challenges by just revising the simple, little things.

Your career, your children, your entrepreneurial endeavors. All of those things will always require your attention and there will always be items competing for your time. Your mate – the one that once made you feel giddy, special and admired enough to win your heart is still in there.

Scarlet Says…Take the time to tend to what’s important and special to you. You deserve it, your mate deserves it and your healthy, thriving relationship will thank you later.

 

Until next time,

Scarlet

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Cultural Diversity – Essential At All Ages

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Scarlet’s 2015 Summer Intern – Ephraim Gibson

How important is it to be culturally diverse? How much do you truly know about your culture, let alone someone else’s?

Whenever my grandparents come over or I go to visit, they always share stories about our heritage or how things used to be. Every time it’s a different story. They could literally go on for days telling just one story. The grandchildren just sit there listening attentively, asking questions here and there. Over the years I’ve come to realize how little I know about my own culture. Then I think to myself, how much do I know about other cultures and customs? If I were to go to a foreign place, would I know the customs and social norms – probably not. Whose fault was it that I knew so little about myself? It was my own, especially in the world we live today. The world is slowly getting smaller thanks to social media and other internet based forums. Anything you want to know or learn about is only a click away. There is no reason to be out of the loop when it comes to different cultures norms and customs, especially your own. You just have to have the urge to explore.

There are so many great ways to learn about other cultures – you just have to find what suits you best. Whether it’s through cooking, traveling, or simply going online and asking somebody what you want to know, there is an infinite amount of information available. These various avenues can help grow your knowledge base and assist you in becoming more culturally diverse. Having this information also helps you when dealing with people and various situations. Knowing where a person comes from or how their cultural norms, aids you in understanding why people do what they do. It will while also help you in making better decisions when communicating, to avoid offending others.

Scarlet Says…You don’t have to be an expert on every culture known to man, as that would be asking too much. However, you should be familiar with your own and the one’s that you often interface with. Get to know people and talk to them. Be inquisitive and ask questions appropriately. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to make some great experiences as you immerse yourself in different cultures.

Until Next Time,

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Scarlet


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How Many Followers Does Your Baby Have?

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Facebook-babyIt is truly the season of baby making and baby having. In this past year alone, I’ve witnessed or been told of at least 10 pregnancies. New babies are exciting. The whole process is exciting. I mean, the miracle of birth truly is pretty amazing, but with the miracle of birth comes the management of not only your baby, but the people who you choose to let your baby be around.

Just a few weeks ago, I went to visit a friend who recently had a beautiful baby boy. In true Scarlet fashion, I stopped and picked up some food for the couple –  Bucharest to be exact,  a metro Detroit area favorite and food that I knew that the couple would enjoy.

Scarlet Says… when visiting a family who just had a baby, do consider bringing some food or snacks to alleviate some of the stress of cooking.

To my surprise, when I arrived the baby was awake (hurray). It seems that newborns are always asleep, so it was great to get a little bit of eyes open time with the handsome little man. It was only a matter of time before the expected happened – the camera came out. Now, personally, I like babies and I like pictures, so I struck a pose while holding the baby over my shoulder and then went back to our conversation. The mother is a dear friend of mine and we had a lot of catching up to do, so  we chatted it up for a while about everything from career, to child-birth to when we would have some out of the house time together again. I made sure to not focus the entire conversation on the baby. This woman is my friend and although she is a wife and now a mother, it’s essential for me to ask her about her, her well-being and how she is doing, because if she isn’t doing well herself, it’s going to be hard for all of her other roles in life to succeed.

Scarlet Says… even when your friends take on new personal or professional roles, remember that at their core still remains a human, a person and your friend. Make it a point to check in on them and their well-being, not always the add-on accomplishments and roles that they’ve taken on along the way. 

We were able to spend a solid 60-90 minutes together, which comparatively speaking is short for us, but was just the right fix to at least catch us up on life in general.

Scarlet Says… as much as you may want to spend all the time in the world with a new baby or even a mother in the hospital after birth, limit your stay. There are likely lots of other people in line and also, the couple will need to rest and recharge and most importantly tend to the baby often.

So, after I left I proceeded on to the rest of my always busy day until I got a nice little text message containing a picture a short while after. What a pleasant surprise – the picture of me and the little one. I was excited to see that it came out so well. Shortly after, I thought, what a nice addition to my other baby photos and I considered posting it on my Instagram page. Then, I paused and thought, wait… I have not seen one photo of this baby on social media. While the mother did not give me any explicit directions to not post, my common sense detector kicked in and said, let me ask for permission first. Upon asking, the mother said, “thank you for asking, we are not posting public photos yet”.

Scarlet Says… new babies are exciting; they’re cute, cuddly, innocent and just so nice to be around. But if it’s not your child, it’s not your place to go around spreading the likeness of their image on social media. There are all kinds of reasons why parents choose to not post photos of their children from safety to privacy. Even if it’s not explicitly said to not post, think twice about what images you are posting that are not you, about you or belong to you and when appropriate ask for permission. 

Until Next Time,

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Scarlet


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My Kids & Family Are Great, But What About Me?

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Aggravated ParentThink about your friends who have children. How do your conversations typically go?

This weekend while visiting home (Detroit), I was so elated to catch up with quite a few of my friends, many of whom have or are expecting children. The conversations with my friends with children or a spouse always started out with the normal pleasantries, including the “how are you’s” and “how’s the job”, etc. In almost every case, the next few questions (for those that have kids) b-lined right for their family. Because I genuinely wanted to know how their children and partners were doing, I innocently asked, “so, how are the little ones” or “how is your other half”. In almost every case, they said “fine, they’re all doing fine” and were ready to move on to another subject. Now, I’ve encountered some unfortunate responses in the past when I’ve asked about the family, so I tread lightly when asking these days. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than learning about a recent divorce or a child who is terminally ill, while innocently asking, so “how’s your family”, but it happens and when it does you sympathetically deal with it.

The one thing that I picked up on this past weekend is a simple concept that most parents will likely appreciate and it is this…while people might have children or a spouse, they are more than just a parent or a spouse. So, let’s just be honest here. You do sometimes run across that (maybe new) parent that ONLY talks about their children and acts as if they did not exist before their children or spouse came along, and for those people carry on. But while my friends who are parents and have partners are great in both of those roles, the reality is that most of them want to be and are more than that. Being a parent or a spouse/partner is fine and awesome, but there are so many other roles that a person is, will be or wants to be and that too should be considered and respected.

Scarlet Says…It is perfectly fine and courteous to ask about your friends’ family when you see them. But, it’s OK as well to continue the conversation and ask about them. How are they doing? What’s new with them? What goals do they have? Allow your friends to be more than just one thing, if they want to be. Life can be much too short to do, experience, be or strive for just one or two things and while having a family and a spouse can be magical, so can all the other things that are possible as well.

Until next time,

Scarlet

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Selfish In Death

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imageI had a phenomenal weekend. My Aunt visited and we decided to take the laid back, not so planned out weekend approach and it was fantastic.

One of the many conversations was around the subject of my mother, Scarlet, or as the world remembers her, Bette. My mother passed away about 3 years ago suddenly and unexpected and consequently, Mother’s Day and birthdays have a bit of a somber undertone. My grandmother (my aunts mother) passed away about 6 years ago after a long battle with a number of illnesses. Although they both left the earth in a very different way, the fact remains that in both instances, someone lost a mother.

So, immediately following my aunt asking about my best girlfriend who had recently lost her mother, she asks me in a concerned tone “so how are you doing”? Considering the situation regarding my moms death, my aunt (and others) tend to periodically check in to see how I’m doing. I responded as I usually always do – “I’m fine”.

But something quite awful happened next. That something was that my aunt said (without being asked a question) “Well, I’m dealing pretty well. I’m not as sad as I initially was.” At that moment, I realize that I had done something pretty selfish.

I failed to ask her how she had been dealing with the passing of her mother. Granted, both of our losses had different circumstances – mine was sudden and hers was over time, but that doesn’t necessarily make the after math any less painful. Also, my mother was substantially younger than her mother (my grandmother), but that factor, while for me was painful, doesn’t negate the fact that at the end of the day we both loss someone.

This same situation happens all the time, especially if the person is older than us. We forget that other people have similar or equally as painful situations as us and that they too are going through something – we all are.

Scarlet Says… in our haste of just living or dealing with our own day-to-day challenges, remember that the world and the people around you aren’t that much different from you. They’re going through similar situations, experiences, challenges, hurdles and pain. Be aware and passionate enough to stop and say, “ok, enough about me, how are YOU doing?”

Until Next Time,

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Scarlet


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National Etiquette Week: Friday – What Office Etiquette Would You Mandate? #scarletetiquetteweek2015

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Friday: If you could change your workplace by enforcing this one office etiquette practice, what would it be? Share your item on our Facebook wall, by tagging us on Twitter or even tagging us in a photo on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

Until Next Time,

Scarlet

Scarlet


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National Etiquette Week: Thursday: Who Would Get The Scarlet Award? #scarletetiquetteweek2015

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2015-05-14 08.13.13Thursday: If there were a Scarlet Award – an award for someone who exemplifies what it means to be considerate of others, embrace perspectives and has a great sense of style, let us know. This doesn’t need to be the quintessential standard of what “style” normally is. This could be someone who just has their own flare, style or look. Who do you know? Let us know! Post about them on our Facebook wall, by tagging us and them on Twitter or even uploading a photo of them and tagging us on Instagram! We look forward to seeing your posts! Don’t forget the hashtag: #scarletetiquetteweek2015

Until tomorrow

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– Scarlet


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